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Life 'a struggle' for Bulger mother

Two decades after her young son was taken from a shopping centre and tortured to death, Denise Fergus admits her life is "still a struggle".

Tuesday marks the 20th anniversary of James's murder and Mrs Fergus will visit the toddler's grave with her family before she and husband Stuart, 37, and sons Michael 19, Thomas, 14, and Leon, 13, spend the day at home.

"It's like it happened yesterday, it's still very hard to get through," she said.

"You think to yourself that there shouldn't be an anniversary of James's death, there shouldn't be an anniversary at all.

"What there should be are Christmases and birthdays with him, not mourning his death or placing flowers on a grave."

"Stuart, my boys and myself and my whole family will all be going to the cemetery to place flowers down for James," she added.

"That's all I can do. I don't want to start mourning again because I do have the three boys to consider.

"After that, me and Stuart will go home with the boys and we'll just watch a movie or something together."

Recalling her memories of two-year-old James, Mrs Fergus described a "bubbly child who brightened up the room".

"He loved reading, he knew his ABCs. He was a clever little boy," she said.

"He used to walk into the room and put his Michael Jackson video tape on and start dancing like Michael.

"He was a little entertainer, such a lovely little boy to have around.

"It was a pleasure to have had him, even though it was for such a short time."

Mrs Fergus now devotes much of her time to the James Bulger Memorial Trust, which provides holidays for deserving children and their families.

She said: "I wanted to keep James's memory alive and that's why I decided to set up the Trust.

"We're giving deserving kids a free holiday, a week away. Kids who are having to care for parents or siblings or kids who are going through bereavement themselves.

"We're just trying to help as many families as possible in James's name."

:: For more information about the James Bulger Memorial Trust, visit forjames.org

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