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Football pulse

Football Pulse archive - August 2011

PIC (31/08): There's always an air of cloak-and-dagger secrecy on transfer deadline day, but if this potential new Tottenham signing is trying not to draw attention to himself as he enters Spurs Lodge for talks, he's going the wrong way about it.

VID (31/08): If you've not yet seen Paolo di Canio's tunnel bust-up with striker Leon Clarke after Swindon's defeat to Southampton, then wait no longer. Di Canio? Bust-up? Who on earth could have predicted this turn of events?

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VID (30/08): Here's Franck Ribery's reaction to Bayern Munich drawing Manchester City in the Champions League group stages. He's not thrilled.

VID (30/08): There's no doubt that transfer deadline day is over-hyped, but has a defender moving to Ipswich ever been given this sort of build-up before?

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VID (29/08): Tony Cascarino is the latest Sky Sports pundit to land in hot water after describing Arsenal left-back Armand Traore as having a 'holocaust' of a game during Manchester United's 8-2 win over the Gunners.

STORY (29/08): Swansea boss Brendan Rodgers is having to dip into the transfer market before Wednesday's deadline after his vice-captain broke his leg in a golf buggy accident.

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PIC (27/08): Cesc Fabregas has won the same number of trophies in 10 days at Barcelona as he did in eight years at Arsenal. Here he is posing with the Uefa Super Cup, alongside Andres Iniesta who seems to have lost his pants.

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VID (26/08): La Liga side Getafe have released this bizarre - and controversial - promotional video featuring lesbian zombies and sperm donations in an effort to boost season ticket sales. Yes you read that right. Unsurprisingly, it's proving quite popular. Warning - features some nudity.

STORY (26/08): Samir Nasri may have upset Arsenal fans by claiming Manchester City's supporters are more 'passionate'. But how many dogs at The Emirates can do the 'Poznan dance'?

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VID (25/08): Some things are too surreal and disturbing to even try and describe. If you're a Rangers fan, I'd avoid watching this video. Frankly, it might even give hardened Celtic fans nightmares. Goodness knows what Joe Ledley makes of it. Or poor old Emilio Izzaguirre.

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VID (24/08): Slip of the tongue from a completely oblivious Philippe Senderos who reveals just how far Joey Barton is prepared to go to get the ball off you.

VID (24/08): After being sent off during a league game in Uruguay, Brazilian defender Diogo reacts by slapping the linesman right across the chops. The dismissed player later said: "I've never experienced anything like that. I left the field crying because I knew I'd done wrong to my team-mates, my family, and all the fans watching. They saw me as being a person that I'm not." Now who has Diogo left out of that apology?

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VID (22/08): In the aftermath of FC Oss's defeat to Almere City in a Dutch league game, a disabled fan takes his frustration out on the officials - by trying to mow down the referee on his scoot-mobile.

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PIC (19/08): With Arsenal fans having to pay through the roof to see their team play, they can forget about forking out for a new shirt when the player on the back is close to leaving. Where's that trusty marker pen? (Courtesy of Beat The First Man).

VID (19/08): Safe to say this ref won't be invited back for further Europa League games after gifting Bursaspor one of the softest penalties we've ever seen (0:39).

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VID (17/08): Sir Bobby Charlton, 73, throws some shapes to Beyonce along with Michael Vaughan and some dancers. Shake what your Mama gave ya, Sir Bob! (via Who Ate All the Pies)

VID (17/08): A rather neat little video from Robin van Persie's sponsors. Looks like RVP junior is a bit handy too. Also watch out for very rare footage after about 25secs of the Dutchman hitting a shot with his right foot. Yes, really

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VID (15/08): The legend that is Raul shows everyone he's still got it with this sublime goal against FC Cologne in the Bundesliga.

VID (15/08): Wanted. The name of the man who scored a ridiculous goal in a seemingly obscure game. With nobody having the faintest clue who he is, it looks like he will just have to define the role as unsung hero

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TWEET (14/08): There's only one footballer everybody is talking about on Twitter and that is Joey Barton. From philosophical quotes and soundtracks of the day describing his current situation at Newcastle, to arguments with Jack Wilshere, Robbie Savage and about every journalist under the sun over his antics against Arsenal.

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VID (12/08): No marching bands or half-baked dance troupes for Turks before kick-off, instead in the friendly between Sivasspor and FK Rad Belgrade the crowd are treated to a live lamb's throat being slit before the players smear blood all over their boots. Fret ye not, the camera cuts away for the Sweeney Todd bit.

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VID (11/08):
Just a few seconds to go in Mexico's clash with the United States but that's not long enough for Omar Arellano who appears to have had an accident. Mexico's white shorts don't do him any favours. It's a subject Gary Lineker knows all too well.

VID (11/08): Northern Ireland's Paddy McCourt justifies his "Derry Pele" nickname with this spectacular solo goal. Forget the fact that it was against the Faroe Islands and just enjoy.

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SONG (10/08): Stroke of genius from Gunnerblog who have uncovered correspondence between majority shareholder Stan Kroenke and manager Arsene Wenger, set to the tune of Eminem and Dido's hit, 'Stan'.

VID (10/08): He may have been playing alongside Hollywood actor Gerard Butler and facing goalkeeper Patrick Kielty, but Henrik Larsson still oozed class as the Swede rolled back the years in a 'legends' match between Celtic and Man Utd.

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VID (09/08): You'd have thought Man Utd lost the Community Shield to fierce rivals City as their despondent players trudge down the Wembley tunnel after their 3-2 win on Sunday - until party-animal Patrice Evra, wrapped with a scarf around his head, attempts to liven up proceedings.

VID (09/08): Romelu Lukaku looks into a crystal ball and predicts his future - don't tell the Belgian that dreams can't come true.

VID (09/08): This goal from South America is doing the rounds as Argentine striker Matias Urbano scores a modified flick in the Chile Primera Division.

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PIC (08/08): No sign of the traditional footballer's arrogance and aloofness from new Chelsea striker Romelu Lukaku. Touchingly, he's been posting photos of himself on the train travelling to London for his medical, while eagerly scouring the newspapers for his own name. He has also promised to 'cry' when he first plays at Stamford Bridge. Give it three months and he'll be firing airguns at work experience kids.

STORY (08/08): The ever-marvellous Daily Mash reveals the latest dark twist to Cesc Fabregas' please-kill-me-it's-so-tedious transfer to Barcelona.

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VID (06/08): Most players celebrating their testimonial need to be teed up with a penalty that the 'keeper daren't save. Not Paul Scholes who waved a fond farewell with this trademark piledriver (2:03).

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STORY (04/08): Ever wanted your club mascot to walk your bride down the aisle? Port Vale's cuddly canine Boomer did just that at the weekend. Who said romance was dead?

VID (04/08): Two notable things from Edwin van der Sar's testimonial last night: Marc Overmars has still got it; Dennis Bergkamp and Wayne Rooney would have been one heck of a partnership (skip to 2:10).

VID (04/08): What's the secret to beating Barcelona? Answer: Marco Fabian.

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VID (03/08): Barca keeper Victor Valdez is beaten by a dolphin. There's not really much more to say.

STORY (03/08): With Cesc Fabregas's future at Arsenal still uncertain, the Gunners are considering taking two team photos for the new season - one with and one without their captain.

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VID (02/08):
We present the Tom Daley award to FC Twente midfielder Peter Wisgerhof for his shameful dive against Ajax in the Dutch equivalent of the Community Shield.

STORY (02/08): Mario Balotelli has been stitched up like a kipper after Man City pranksters hid a bag of rotting fish in the back of his 150,000 Maserati sports car.

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STORY/VID (01/08): Eric Cantona and Sir Alex Ferguson will be in opposing dug-outs for Paul Scholes' testimonial on Friday, when Cantona returns to Old Trafford 14 years after his shock retirement. This breathtaking video compilation shows why Manchester United fans called him "King Eric".

STORY (01/08): Bad news for all those Burnley fans with 'Bikey' printed on the back of their shirts. The defender now wishes to be known as Andre Amougou - the family name from his paternal side.