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Football Pulse archive - July 2011

STORY (30/07): Rio Ferdinand has joked that he was targeted by 24's Jack Bauer after his photos of inside the White House were removed from his Twitter account.

VID (30/07): And after escaping Bauer's clutches, Ferdinand found time to fit in a game of tennis with Nemanja Vidic and a few pros, claiming on Twitter that he aced former world number five Fernando Gonzalez.

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VID (28/07): If you are still yet to be convinced of Brazilian striker Neymar's talents then maybe this goal will help sway your decision. The enthusiastic Brazilian commentator makes this goal look even better. Prepare to be wowed.

VID (28/07): The owners of Venky's may be happy with their new marketing campaign with the Blackburn players but they might be having second thoughts about their product quality. Look out for David Dunn and Michel Salgado who don't really want to commit to a full bite of the chicken strips.

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VID (27/07): If Wayne Rooney's overhead kick against Man City wasn't beautiful enough, check out this animated version of the wonder goal which makes it look even better.

VID (27/07): Bayern Munich striker Mario Gomez is a great mulit-tasker. Not only does he have to decide which option to take whilst dribbling with the ball, but he also has to stop himself baring all to the crowd as AC Milan's Alessandro Nesta pulls off some literally cheeky defending.

VID (27/07): Struggling to find an England team good at something? Well the U20's show that they have plenty of dancing moves in their locker as they are met in style by the Columbian police at the airport.

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TWEET (26/07): Last night Leicester City striker Paul Gallagher was introduced to Twitter by his wife, 'make-up artist and budding journalist', Hayley. After a warm-up effort ('Get ready for the banter!!!') his next tweet was less edifying. 'Off to bed to smash Hayley's back doors in!' he promised. The lucky lady in question and her mother took it quite well, considering.

STORY (26/07): Prime Minister David Cameron has weighed into the the biggest transfer saga of the summer after meeting Arsenal skipper Cesc Fabregas at No. 10.

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VID (25/07): Ridiculous showboating, hauled off after half-hour and a blazing row with the boss. Your typical Balotelli day.

VID (25/07): Arsenal's new defender Carl Jenkinson scores an outrageous volley in their latest friendly with FC Cologne - but unfortunately for him it came at the wrong end. What is it with Arsenal right-backs and classic own goals?

VID (25/07): Everyone outside Uruguay was praying for a Paraguay win in the Copa America final so Pulse favourite Larissa Riquleme would strip on the pitch. But Diego Forlan and Luis Suarez weren't so keen and instead we got Martin Caceres in his skimpy blue pants (thanks to OffthePost).

VID (25/07): Meet Chelsea's on-flight cameraman Salomon Kalou, aka David Cameroon.

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VID (23/07): You remember Fun House? Well here's an old clip of the Uruguayan version, starring a young Luis Suarez. Sadly, there's no Pat Sharp mullet or the infamous twins.

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PICS (22/07): Courtesy of Who Ate All The Pies, may we introduce Patty Orue - the second-greatest thing about Paraguayan football.

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VID (21/07):
From the team that brought you 'Clive Tyldesley Lives In My Nipple', here's a new comedy sketch about a German farmer who is outraged to find Gary Neville's face on a carrot.

VID (21/07): Chaos from the Copa America as a huge brawl breaks out after Paraguay's penalty shootout win over Venezuela in the semi-finals. But forget the fighting, Larissa Riquelme is one match away from running through the streets naked (scroll down to 04/07).

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VID (20/07): Roberto Carlos, currently pootling up and down the left flank for Anzhi Makhachkala in Russia, tries his hand at the Lezginka. We're sure his Samba's better.

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VID (19/07): Cristiano Ronaldo, Marcelo, Fabio Coentrao and Jose Mourinho admire the scenery before Real Madrid's friendly against LA Galaxy. When you see what they're looking at, you'll forgive them for being a little distracted.

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VID (18/07): It may only have been a friendly between United Arab Emirates and Lebanon, but Awana Diab's audacious penalty still takes some serious nuts. Apparently, his manager substituted him immediately for 'disrespecting his opponents' (via Dirty Tackle).

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VID (13/07): Yossi Benayoun wastes an absolute worldy of a goal in a poxy training match against Wycombe at Chelsea's Cobham training ground.

VID (13/07): Manchester City players, clearly very bored indeed on their pre-season US tour, have jumped aboard the 'planking' bandwagon that's sweeping the internet. SWP hanging by his feet from a door is The Pulse's favourite. Micah Richards pushes the boundaries of taste somewhat.

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VID (12/07): A novel way at Napoli to unveil a new signing!

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VID (11/07): It was 11 years ago today that Sir Alex Ferguson signed 'The Blind Venetian' Massimo Taibi to replace Peter Schmeichel. He lasted ten months, conceded 11 goals in four games, and will forever be remembered for conceding this goal. Never, ever fails to raise a chortle.

VID (11/07): It's Coritiba v Figueirense in Brazil and Maranhao dances down the left wing, only for his showboating to end in spectacular and very painful embarrassment.

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VID (09/07): Some fans have a love/hate relationship with football. For this powderkeg River Plate fan, it's mainly the latter. It gets really funny from about 1min40secs (via Who Ate All The Pies)

VID (09/07): It shouldn't really be funny, but somehow it always is. Alvaro Gonzalez receives the ball plum on his, erm, plums in Uruguay's clash with Chile at the Copa America. Ouchy.

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VID (08/07): How many former Hartlepool players have you seen score from their own half? Well we've found one. Former Monkey Hanger Jon Andre Fredriksen bends it like Beckham as he nets an outrageous 60-yard lob for Norwegian side Moss.

STORY (08/07): Two hardcore Man City fans have spent 50,000 customising an old Chevrolet convertible car into the ultimate Blues-mobile. The 1975 Chevy features the crest on the bonnet and club legends, including Carlos Tevez (d'oh!) on opposite doors. Be careful where you park it!

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VID (07/07): British fans are well-known for their passion and dedication, but we're fair-weather armchairs supporters compared to the Greeks. Check out the scenes on the first day of pre-season training at PAOK's stadium. To repeat - this is no match, it's just a training session.

PICS (07/07): If managers didn't have enough to worry about already, they now have to hope none of their players get injured through the new craze of 'planking'. Players are competing with each other in lying face down in the most unusual places but at the same time risking injury. Here's Man City duo Micah Richards and Joe Hart displaying their best efforts to give the physio a panic attack.

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PICS (06/07): The fluorescent pink away strip may have made Everton look a soft bunch last season. But the Toffees have decided to use military tactics ahead of the new campaign after unveiling their camouflage goalkeeper shirt which is sure to help Tim 'Rambo' Howard fend off the Premier League's most deadly shooters.

VID (06/07): Ever wondered how to make a Swedish stunner take off her top? This German-supporting lothario has cracked it at the Women's World Cup after successfully swapping jerseys with striker Josefine Oqvist, even leaning in for a cheeky kiss at the end.

VID (06/07): Some footballers enjoy the off-season by soaking up the sun in Barbados. Others blow off steam by partying in Ibiza. And then there's Chelsea striker Daniel Sturridge who prefers to spend his time performing the 'Wacky Dip' dance on Jamaican breakfast TV (skip to six minute mark).

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VID (05/07): Would you take fitness advice from semi-permanent crock Owen Hargreaves? His promotional team clearly think you should, as the released Man United midfielder launches his own YouTube fitness channel. Look out for some very snug lycra shorts in this clip.

STORY (05/07): Proof that Barcelona's La Marcia academy genuinely leaves no stone unturned in its quest to find the globe's youngest, brightest talent. Their latest recruit is aged seven, from Northampton, and was spotted by chance while having a kickabout on a tourists' tour of the Nou Camp. Best of luck, kid.

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STORY (04/07): Stuggling to find a team to support in the Copa America? Here's two reasons to cheer on Paraguay.

PICS (04/07): And as if by magic, we have a gallery of the lovely Larissa Riquelme from last year's World Cup. Enjoy.

VID (04/07): Some people wonder why the Women's World Cup isn't taken seriously. At least Diego Maradona disguised his handball.

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VID (02/07): Desperately trying to find some live football to plug the gap to the new season? Well, maybe this Sergio Aguero goal will whet your appetite for some Copa America action this summer.