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Football Pulse Archive - May 2011

VID (31/05): We know you've probably watched hundreds of videos tagged 'worst miss ever'. But seriously, this Anderson Fredrick open-goal botch in the Venezuelan lower leagues is quite astonishing.

VID (31/05): "Scholes is undoubtedly the best midfielder of his generation." Not a bad commendation from Zinedine Zidane. Here's why we're not going to argue with Zizou.

PICS (31/05): Steven Gerrard reminds Manchester United fans just how many times Liverpool have won the European Cup.

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VID (30/05): Barcelona's Europe-conquering stars get down and dirty and shake their booty on stage with popstar Shakira, who as you all know by now is dating the luckiest man in the world, Gerard Pique. Any excuse to get the Colombian charmer in the Pulse.

STORY (30/05): If you want to watch World Cup winner Bixente Lizarazu streak through the streets of of Evian then you're in luck. The former France international is not backing out on his promise to peel off his clothes after his local club won promotion to Ligue 1. Ooh la la.

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VID (29/05): Arsenal players attempt to speak Chinese in order to promote the club's tour of the Far East, and fail dismally. Arsene Wenger shows 'em how it's done.

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PIC (27/05):
Gerard Pique and Carles Puyol abuse Arsenal's hospitality as they train at London Colney before Saturday's Champions League final. The cheeky Barcelona duo take a picture of Cesc Fabregas off the wall, gesticulate at it somewhat ambiguously and then tweet the resulting pic.

PIC (27/05): Danny Wilson has seen his share of tough times during a much-travelled managerial career, but mass protests just a day after being appointed (as Sheffield United boss) is probably a notable low point.

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VID (26/05): Manchester United's players, including the mischievous Wayne Rooney and dangerous Da Silva twins, star in this bizarre pre-flight safety video for club sponsors Turkish Airlines. Just hope you don't sit next to rule-breaker Rooney on your summer hols to Marmaris.

VID (26/05): Not only does Dinamo Bucharest winger Elis Bakaj skin the full-back, but he manages to dodge a firework before sending in a cross during the Romanian Cup final against Steaua.

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VID (25/05): David Beckham was back in a Manchester United strip at best mate Gary Neville's testimonial last night. Watch him produce the best tackle of his career. Somebody get him a fluorescent coat.

PIC (25/05): Manchester United's 'Class of 92' reunite to imitate this famous photo from 19 years ago. Nicky Butt has lost his hair and there's no Terry Cooke, but not much else has changed.

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VID (24/05): Plaudits to reporter Rob Edwards for being the only one among a packed press room with enough gumption to ask Sir Alex Ferguson 'the Ryan Giggs question'. Unfortunately for him, he received only a very terse response and a ban from Friday's press conference. And here's his story.

VID (24/05): It's Gary Neville's testimonial against Juventus tonight so we thought we'd revisit some of his career highlights. Refusing to shake Peter Schmeichel's hand at Man City and not being able to find a wooden spoon in his own kitchen with David Beckham are The Pulse's personal favourites. Classic.

STAT GOODNESS (24/05): If, like our resident trivia guru The Gaffer, you like your stats, then feast your peepers on this lip-smacking season round-up courtesy of our brethren at Opta. Gorge yourself then impress/annoy your mates by regurgitating a few in the pub.

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VID (23/05): Mick McCarthy gets soaked by his 'body-double' George Elokobi who then drops an f-bomb during a live interview after Wolves retain their Premier League status.

STORY (23/05): One Wigan fan was quids in from the weekend. Roberto Martinez chucked his lucky jacket into the crowd after the Latics' dramatic win at Stoke - but he forgot to take out his wallet.

VID (23/05): Manuel Neuer might have enjoyed a superb season with Schalke, but his decision to leave this summer hasn't gone down well with this fan who slaps the goalie across the chops.

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VID (21/05): As AFC Wimbledon and Luton meet today for the right to re-join the Football League, the Pulse digs out footage of the last big cup clash between the sides (or at least a club that called itself 'Wimbledon'). Amazingly, it was in the FA Cup semi-final at White Hart Lane in 1988. Loads of familiar faces for those of us unfortunate enough to be over 30.

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VID (20/05): In what is the most ludicrous/inspired (delete as applicable in six months' time) move in the club's history, Swindon are to appoint Paolo di Canio as their new manager. What could possibly go wrong. This, perhaps, or this. Or perhaps he'll be able to teach Sam Parkin this sort of thing. Best of luck, Paolo.

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VID (19/05): QPR are the latest team to boast Snoop Dogg as a celebrity fan. The hip-hop megastar and glory supporter has clearly jumped on the promotion bandwagon after he donned a Super-Hoops shirt at a gig in London. He's got more teams than records.

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VID (18/05): Jackie Chan eat your heart out. Liverpool left-back Chris Mavinga, on loan at Genk, knocks Standard Liege winger Mehdi Carcela out cold with a vicious kick to the face - and only gets a yellow card. Carcela is in hospital recovering from a broken jaw.

VID (18/05):
Who said there's no quality in the lower leagues? Check out this gem of a goal from Jorge Troiteiro for Burgos against Tordesillas in the Spanish fourth tier. Messi-esque.

VID (18/05): Here's proof that goalkeepers are crazy. Cruz Azul stopper Jesus Corona gets involved in a free-for-all and headbutts the oppositon's coach during the end of their Mexican Cup semi-final defeat. Nuts.

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STORY (17/05): West Ham's miserable season plummeted to new low last night after police were called to their end-of-season dinner. Demba Ba reportedly triggered the carnage when he replied "I'm too tired" to a fan requesting his autograph. How heavy was the pen, Demba?

STORY (17/05): "Come Back When You Have Won 18" was Liverpool's message to their Manchester United counterparts in 1994. And now the Reds have had a taste of their own medicine after undercover United fans unveiled a banner emblazoned with the words "MUFC 19 TIMES" in the Anfield Road End before Liverpool's game with Spurs on the weekend. Those responsible had a getaway vehicle waiting outside the stadium in a stunt organised by the Red Issue fanzine.

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PIC: (16/05): See which player celebrated Manchester United's record 19th league title by shaving his chest hair in the shape of the number and posting the snaps up on Twitter.

STORY (16/05): A Millwall fans group have claimed responsibility for the plane banner stunt mocking Avram Grant. The plane flew over the DW Stadium with the words 'Avram Grant - Millwall Legend' moments after Wigan equalised on their way to winning and relegating West Ham.

PIC (16/05): Newcastle striker Nile Ranger has been warned by club officials after posing "like a gangster" with a gun.

VID (16/05): The King of Pop, Kevin-Prince Boateng, celebrates AC Milan's title triumph by performing a dazzling Michael Jackson dance routine.

VID (16/05): Fergie might have second thoughts about signing Ajax's Maarten Stekelenburg after the butterfingers goalkeeper was filmed 'doing a Ramos' - dropping the Eredivisie league trophy off the top of the bus.

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STORY (13/05): Pranksters Blackpool have gone 2-0 up against Lancashire rivals Preston. Following the plane banners over Deepdale after the Lilywhites were relegated to League One, a cheeky Tangerines fan has used the famous Countdown conundrum to take the rivalry a step further. Brownie points if you actually solve it in 30 seconds.

VID (13/05): Comical action from Bolivia. We're not quite sure what the goalkeeper's up to, but maybe it was enough to put off San Jose striker Maxi Andrade when he was presented with an open goal.

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STORY (12/05): Noel Gallagher threatens to tear out Gary Neville's moustache with his teeth after the former United stalwart dares to quote Oasis lyrics on Twitter.

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VID (11/05):
No stranger to controversy, here's Gennaro Gattuso in his pants singing "Leonardo is a man of s***, man of s***" with the AC Milan ultras.

VID (11/05): Goal of the season? Greek second division leaders PAS Giannina score something straight out of the Pro Evolution Soccer manual.

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STORY (10/05): Mario Balotelli helps a young autograph hunter being picked on at school by confronting the bully himself and demanding a meeting with the headteacher.

VID (10/05):
News from Australia, and Simpson Tigers midfielder Nathan van Someren explains how he was sent off because his spiky hair was too dangerous.

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VID (09/05):
We've seen players punched by pitch invaders this season, but this chap gives Roberto Carlos a hug and gets an autograph in return.

VID (09/05): After Sian Massey was floored last week, this Italian linesman has pulled one back for the officials by bulldozing Livorno coach Walter Novellino.

TWEET (09/05): Michael Owen has taunted team-mate Wayne Rooney over his receding hairline: "By the way, how old are you in that photo? Your face looks like a 12-year-old's but your hair looks like a 60-year-old's!"

VID (09/05): Here's proof that referee Howard Webb isn't a Manchester United fan.

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VID (07/05): Kazakh player Armand Masimzhanov has been banned for life following this sickening kung-fu kick assault on Lokomotiv's Radmir Muksinova.

VID (07/05): David Luiz continues his one-man comedy routine, this time at the expense of Chelsea TV presenter Gigi Salmon at the club's training ground.

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VID (06/05): Chelsea striker Didier Drogba is given guitar lessons by ESPN's Talk of the Terrace presenter Chris Cohen. Didier Drogba la la la la la.

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PICS (05/05): Worst seat in the house? Beat The First Man takes a gander at the most rubbish views in sport.

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VID (04/05): Serial pitch invader Jimmy Jump was up to his old tricks last night at the Nou Camp, but he failed in his attempt to put a red hat on Cristiano Ronaldo's greasy head. If you don't know Jimmy already, watch this compilation.

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VID (03/05): Poor Sian Massey. Fresh from a public battering from a couple of sacked sexist behemoths, she kops another one from (a notably unapologetic) Kyle McNaughton during Cardiff's defeat to Middlesbrough. The girl's made of stern stuff.

VID (03/05): A Brazilian cup match between Goias and Vila Nova at the weekend was held up for 20 minutes after a swarm of bees landed on the crossbar. Later there was a lengthy and astonishing mass brawl with chairs being thrown, and in the street after the game, a fatal stabbing.

VID (03/05): The Pulse really could sit and watch this all day. It looks more painful with every replay.

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TWEET (02/05): Another one bites the dust. Last week Man Utd midfielder Darron Gibson quit Twitter, and now Bolton skipper Kevin Davies is closing his account after receiving abusive messages. SKD's wife stuck up for her hubbie, writing: "Don't get the 'fat' abuse! I see him naked everyday and not an inch of fat on him!"

STORY (02/05): Ashley Cole could be following his ex Cheryl into the music industry. Apparently, Ash-C wants to work with Jay-Z.

VID (02/05): Former tennis star and umpire-basher John McEnroe scores a tidy back-post header in a celebrity five-a-side tournament. And we are serious.

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VID (01/05): If you thought Gary Lineker and Lionel Ritchie teaming up for an advert was cheesy then you haven't seen nothing yet. Watch the video for the new Walkers ad which 'premiered' during El Clasico to see cringeworthy taken to a whole new level.