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Football Pulse

Football Pulse archive - February 2011

PIC (28/02): Football fans are renown for stripping off in unsuitable weather at unsuitable times, but usually it's obese, shaven-headed men. Refreshing, then, to see a female Birmingham fan following suit - not safe for work.

TWEET (28/02): Jack Wilshere is not best mates with Birmingham. FACT. After the Carling Cup final defeat, he tweeted: "Well done to the BCFC player who slapped Koscielny on the head when they scored, very big of you!" I don't know about you, but we're more alarmed by the lack of typos or spelling mistakes. A footballer who can construct a sentence!

VID (28/02): Speaking of Koscielny and his partner in crime, Wojciech Szczesny, at least it wasn't as bad as this.

STORY (26/02): The walking canvas that is David Beckham today sports a new biblical image; Becks as Jesus (naturally) surrounded by three cherubs (his sons). "Everything has a meaning," he says. Yep, the meaning here is you rate yourself too highly, Becks. The LA star explains more about his 19th tattoo in this clip. See the finished work here.

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STORY (25/02): Inter Milan keeper Julio Cesar was so upset about gifting Bayern Munich a last-minute winner this week that he left his car at the ground and walked home.

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STORY (24/02): Keith 'Beefy' Roberts is one of Newcastle United's biggest fans - literally - and now other supporters can copy his matchday look with T-shirts - check out the official Magpies website for more.

PIC (24/02): Could the new Liverpool away kit really be BLUE and white?

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STORY (23/02): Arsenal starlet Wellington Silva, currently on loan at Levante, has been told to stop binging on pizza...and Twitter. We hear Wenger and co are fond of pizzas at the Emirates.

VID (23/02): Everbody loves a scoring goalie. Watch Deportivo stopper Daniel Aranzubia become the first La Liga keeper to score from open play last weekend.

STORY (23/02): "I did not single her out. I don't want to be the next Andy Gray," says Singaporean coach R. Balasubramaniam who has been accused of making sexist remarks about a female official.

STORY (23/02): Gattuso v Jordan II has officially been scrapped. The Milan captain is suspended for the Champions League return leg at White Hart Lane, and now he's confirmed he won't be travelling to London: "I have been told there will be 47,000 people there just waiting to give me a slap, so I will stay in Milan." Jordan is rumoured to be looking for a new opponent ahead of the March 9 showdown, while Spurs chiefs will not be refunding tickets for disappointed fans.

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PIC (22/02): Andy Carroll and Kenny Dalglish enjoyed a cosy night together watching a Boyzone concert at Liverpool's Echo Arena last night. Surely a duet of the Irish chart-troublers' song 'Oh Carol' is in the offing?

Oh Carol, gotta make you mine,
Carol, it'll work out fine,
I know it's love, I know it's love for real,
I know it's love, I know the way I feel,
Carol, you're my dream come true,
Carol, when I look at you,
Carol, say you'll never go,
Carol, now I need you so,
Carol when I hold you tight,
I don't want to say goodnight.

STORY (22/02): Ronaldo had to wear nappies at the Copa America for fearing of 'doing a Lineker', reveals former Brazil coach Vanderlei Luxemburgo.

BLOG (22/02): Football Manager developer Sports Interactive is investing in grassroots football - is it shrewd marketing, genuine altruism or a bit of both, asks The Guardian.

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VID (21/02): Here's Yorkshire TV reporting on Sheffield Wednesday boss Trevor Francis giving a trial to a tempestuous French striker back in January 1992. Don't buy him Trev, he looks rubbish!

VID (21/02): Commiserations to Plymouth Argyle fans for the current misery of administration and probable relegation to the bottom tier. Cheer yourselves up here.

GOSSIP (21/02): Claudio Ranieri's resignation from Roma (after they blew a 3-0 lead at Genoa) and Chelsea's FA Cup defeat to Everton have got the rumour mill a-buzzing about Carlo Ancelotti's future. The Italian, said to be a Roma fan, insists he won't walk out of Stamford Bridge. A bad result against Copenhagen this week means the decision might not be his to make.

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STORY (20/02): Liverpool's recent resurgence has less to do with Kenny Dalglish and more to do with, erm, Amy Winehouse. Resident DJ Dirk Kuyt has revealed the Reds haven't lost since he took control of the music in the dressing room - Winehouse, Kings of Leon and The Killers 'get the lads going'.

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VID (19/02): If you think the likes of Paul Merson and Chris Kamara are irritating on Soccer Saturday, spare a thought for the Italian public who have to put up with Tiziano Crudeli from Direttastadio. Witness his screen-punchingly over-the-top histrionics while covering Spurs' first-leg win over his beloved AC Milan in the Champions League this week. Skip to 4.40 for Crouch's goal, and 7.05 for Ibrahimovic's disallowed equaliser.

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VID: (18/02): Does Jamie Redknapp actually tell his son to 'smash it' in this Wii advert? Yes, he does. Advice no doubt endorsed by hairy Uncle Keysie when used to come round for dinner.

PIC (18/02): Manchester City chief executive Garry Cook apparently spat out his chianti in the Aris Salonika executive lounge when he saw this picture of the City squad in the matchday programme at Tuesday's Europa League tie. The Greek club apparently thought it was a genuine team photo. You'll notice the presence of every big-name player City were linked with in the summer and, erm, the star of the Where's Wally books.

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VID (17/02): A Stevenage fan, Robert Fitzgerald, has been jailed for 12 weeks and banned from attending football matches for six years after punching his own player following the win over Newcastle. Apparently Scott Laird was a former boyfriend of Fitzgerald's missus. Here's the incredible footage of Fitzgerald's punch.

STORY (17/02): Brazilian legend Roberto Carlos has a new club. Drumroll please..........Anzhi Makhachkala. Who?! They're in the Russian top flight and just avoided relegation last season, but have 'convinced' the 37-year-old left-back to sign two-and-a-half year deal. Carlos denies it has anything to do with the reported 10 million euros he'll be paid...

VID (17/02): Carlos remains one of the all-time greats though. Check out his impressive catalogue of goals, including THAT free-kick against Les Blues (the French wall - above - look scared stiff). You can actually hear the ball whimper after he strikes it.

VID (17/02): So what's all the fuss about Liverpool wonderkid Raheem Sterling? Watch his five stunning goals in the FA Youth Cup against Southend and see for yourselves.

VID (17/02): Nicknamed 'The Magician', the boy also has some serious skills.

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VID (16/02): Gattuso v Jordan? Pah! Here's a compilation of the best of the worst of the 'beautiful' game. Warning: contains Roy Keane.

WIKI (16/02): Gattuso 0 Internet 1 - You've got to love Wikipedia edits. Not that it should ever be encouraged.

TWITTER (16/02): Sam Allardyce (cough cough) Tweets "Just off the phone to Harry, as it happens. He said Joe Jordan stole a horse from somewhere and rode around Milan looking for Gattuso." ... "When he couldn't find him, Joe simply dismounted the steed, tore it in half & threw it into the river. Gattuso's messed with the wrong man."

WAGS (16/02): Hips don't lie - and neither does Facebook. Gerard Pique posts a pic of himself with the snake-hipped Colombian warbler, all but confirming that she's joined the ranks of the world's most famous WAGs.

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VID (15/02): In a Twitter Q&A today, Rio Ferdinand said his funniest moment in football was Paolo di Canio demanding to be substituted after being denied three penalties in a match against Bradford. Here's what he was talking about.

STORY (15/02): Just when Sky thought they'd gone a week without a scandal, Glenn Hoddle, uncharacteristically, dares to deviate from his personal archive of banalities.

FEATURE (15/02): The Pulse likes this ten-point plan for football commentators from When Saturday Comes. Now can someone please tell Brian Marwood to stop saying, "This football match..." (or is that just us?)

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FEATURE (14/02): The Mirror have cobbled together a touching tribute to the retiring Ronaldo entitled 'Bed-wetting! Trannies! 'The ache down below!'

VID (14/02): Hours on the training pitch - French side Mulhouse make a pig's ear of a free-kick.

VID (14/02): I bet you thought Rooney's overhead was awesome. In a Manchester derby too. But nothing can possibly beat Pele's against the Nazis. Check it out.

VID (14/02): One of the all-time greats, Ronaldo, is retiring. Youngsters today might think of him as a rather chubby, goofy fella, more concerned with chasing skirts, but here was a true legend - as some of these moves and goals prove.

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STORY (13/02): A fresh new start, a new job on Monday and we can forget about all that pesky controversy. Right? Wrong, Mr Keys. Oh, so wrong.

GOSSIP (13/02): Did anyone catch Carlton Cole's emotional interview on Match of the Day? Is Avram Grant really that irrelevant that he's getting Scott Parker to do his half-time team talks now?

VID (11/02): This is an old clip, but it's still worth reviewing seven seconds of the most hilarious goalkeeping you're ever likely to see.

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STORY (12/02): Italian amateur footballer banned for 20 months after force-feeding a referee his own whistle, reports Who Ate All The Pies

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STORY (11/02): Some clubs just have no sense of humour. Manchester City's groundsman of 15 years is forced to delete his Facebook account by the club after posting a flurry of 'offensive' messages about Manchester United.

VID (11/02): As Sky Sports churn out their stern-voiced 'IT'S WAR' guff ahead of the weekend's Manchester derby, we're reminded of this fantastic Mitchell and Webb take on their wonderfully overblown promos.

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STORY: (10/02): David Beckham descends from heaven to rescue stranded motorist, who can only utter "I love you mate!"

VID (10/02): Introducing Remi Gaillard, who's a French version of Britain's infamous pitch impostor Karl Power. But with talent. Lots and lots and lots of talent.

VID (10/02): Now we know what Roque Santa Cruz was doing during those long breaks in-between Carling Cup appearances for Man City. Oh deary me, Roque

VID (10/02): Not seen Wesley Sneijder's goal for Holland against Austria yet? You won't want to miss it

VID (10/02): Is this the most disastrous opening 10 seconds of a match ever? Ebbsfleet load gun, take aim and fire straight into their own foot at home to Farnborough.

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STORY (09/02): Italian porn star outs herself as an escort to Serie A players, reports The Offside. Fret ye not, it's safe for work.

VID (09/02): If you thought refereeing couldn't sink lower than the weekend's Blyth hand ball (see below), think again. Comedy officiating from Costa Rica via Beat The First Man - whizz to 1.25 for the slo-mo which knocks Frank Lampard's scratched goal against Germany into a cocked hat.

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STORY (08/02): Who would have guessed it? Andy Gray and Richard Keys are back! The former Sky Sports duo have been snapped up by TalkSport. The sexism-scandal duo join Ulrika-beater and dogger Stan Collymore on the station's rota from February 14.

VID (08/02): The Pulse is looking forward to hearing Steve McClaren's choice of accent when/if he returns to England. Our money's on a Dick Van Dyke-style melange of Yarm/Mockney/lingering-hint-of-the-Rhineland. His adopted Dutch and German lilts still never fail to amuse.

VID (08/02): Apropos of nothing inparticular, could this be the most stylish own goal ever? Teekaboo, Jamie Pollock for Manchester City v QPR in 1998.

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PIC (07/02): Chelsea banner FAIL. Blues fan copies a Liverpool flag, changes the colour but leaves the Shankly Gates on.

VID (07/02): You want some shocking reffing? Blyth Spartans v Droylsden at the weekend, the most blatant handball you'll ever see - completely missed.

VID (07/02): Ronaldinho shows off in training with some 'unbelievable tekkers' as they say. Next week: Ron attempts to eat an apple through a letterbox.

VID (07/02): No old pals act on display at Stamford Bridge on Sunday as Daniel Agger lays the smack down on Fernando Torres with his best forearm smash.

VID (07/02): Players and refs attacked by bees. Particularly loving the bloke with the flag ignoring the usual advice of "Don't flap at them, you'll make them angry"

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VID (06/02): Gary Neville's deep love of Manchester United - and hatred of City and Liverpool - often revealed itself in unappealing ways. Witness this ugly shunning of Peter Schmeichel as his former team-mate dares to turn up in City colours.

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VID (04/02): A furious Geordie protesting at Andy Carroll's departure is shocked to find Mike Ashley's mass-produced football shirts aren't as flammable as he'd expected. Have a look at the dipstick

PIC (04/02): A sensational snap has emerged of Liverpool's new recruits Andy Carroll and Luis Suarez squaring up to each other in training. OMG

VID (04/02): Roberto Carlos may be seeing out the twilight of his career with Corinthians, but even at 37 he's still got the magic - as this audacious goal direct from a corner shows. Did he mean it? You betcha life daddyo.