The Football Pulse

The Football Pulse unearths the best videos, stories, tweets and gossip - use the icons above to share with your mates and post your comments at the bottom of the article.

VID (23/12): Here's Real Madrid defender Pepe taking time out from collecting yellow cards by baking biscuits to prove he has a sweeter side. Maybe he should prove it by not hacking everybody down. 

VID (22/12): Crazy scenes from the Dutch Cup as a pitch invader attacks AZ Alkmaar goalie Esteban Alvarado - but the keeper takes matters into his own hands by using the fan as a chance for some kicking practice.

VID (21/12): Kenny Dalglish wants to bury the hatchet with Sir Alex Ferguson and so decides to phone his old foe to wish him a Happy Christmas.

VID (20/12): Wayne Rooney sticks the boot into Fergie during a Christmas game of charades at The Big United Quiz - but his "Bend It Like Beckham" mime doesn't go down too well with the boss. That'll cost you, Wayne.

VID (19/12): Spectacular own goals are quite common on the Pulse. But we can safely say that we have never seen somebody plant a perfectly-executed scorpion kick past their own keeper. Until now.

PIC (19/12): A plucky Wigan fan gets into the Christmas spirit by wearing a turkey on her head to keep warm during the Latics' 1-1 draw with Chelsea. We're hearing that the hat is replacing snoods as the must have fashion accessory this winter.

VID (16/12): Watch closely here as Benfica manager Jorge Jesus rushes out of his technical area to bellow instructions at his goalkeeper Artur late in the game against Sporting. And then.... check out what Artur, presumably following instructions, does next. Unedifying, to say the least.

VID (15/12): Regardless of whether or not Ashley Cole sang "Thursday nights, Channel 5" to the Man City team, it's catching on like wildfire. Here is Jim Rosenthal and Stan Collymore picking up where Ashley (allegedly) left off.

VID (15/12): One of the thrills of football is seeing your team break forward from the back and scoring on the counter. Here's how not to do it.

STORY (14/12): It comes as no surprise that Ashley Cole was the player who started the tunnel bust-up after Chelsea's 2-1 win over Manchester City on Monday. What is surprising is that his comment that ignited the flare-up was actually quite witty.

VID (13/12): Nicklas Bendtner is 'f***ing arrogant' and 'stupid'. Not the opinion of The Pulse, but that of staff at a Danish pizza parlour frequented late in the evening by the Sunderland striker. He stumbled in, without any form of payment, demanding to be fed free pizza. "Don't you know who I am? I could buy the whole pizerria!" he opined. Here's the video evidence.

PIC (13/12): How did The Guardian rate the performances of Joe Hart, Pablo Zabaleta and Vincent Kompany at Chelsea last night? I guess we'll never know.

VID (09/12): Mr. Lover Lover Andy Carroll celebrates ending his barren run in front of goal by engaging in a steamy clinch with Arsenal goalkeeper Lukas Fabianski in what is being dubbed the Fifa 12 'sex tape' after an unfortunate glitch in the computer game.

VID (07/12): He played for Barcelona, won over 50 caps for Argentina and probably has a trophy cabinet bigger than Pulse HQ, but just like the rest of us, Juan Roman Riquelme can still get tackled by a football. She fell over!

STORY (07/12): Man Utd outcast Dimitar Berbatov has been pipped to the Bulgarian Football of the Year award... by Prime Minister Boyko Borisov who sometimes plays as a forward for third division side Vitosha Bistritsa.

VID (06/12): Want to see some ex-Premier League stars being electrocuted? Well, of course you do! Jan Aage Fjortoft, Lars Bohinen and Claus Lundekvam are just some of the victims of two Norwegian reality TV pranksters.

VID (05/12): After scoring a penalty against Juventus, Napoli's Marek Hamsik goes slightly over the top by celebrating down a flight of stairs before returning and cupping his ears. But to the Old Lady's delight, his exuberant celebration is cut short as he's forced to retake the spot kick - and you can all guess what happened next.

VID (02/12): This is a corker. It's what the kids would no doubt refer to as a 'double overhead kick fail'. The hapless protagonists are Mushaga Bakenga and Jonas Svensson of Rosenborg.

VID (01/12): Kenny Dalglish rings up his great rival Sir Alex Ferguson to wish him a happy Christmas, but their mutual antipathy soon rears its ugly head. Legal note: just in case anyone's in doubt - this isn't real (it is, however, very funny).

VID (01/12): A suspiciously old clip, but a beauty nonethless. Referee collapses dramatically after being struck on the head by.... an apple core.

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FOOTBALL PULSE ARCHIVE

November 2011: Outrage in Iran at 'shameless' goal celebration, Mancini bangs his noggin, Yeovil Town wedding song classic, Polish Youth Cup penalty fail, Nasri's pants

October 2011: A new contender for the longest headed goal ever, Man City academy stunner, keeper refuses to save penalty, Keys and Gray's fall from grace, Petr Cech does drumming.

September 2011: Walter Pandiani's personal hygiene 'issue', the worst tackle ever, the longest-range header ever, a linesman faking injury and Mansfield Town's luscious new CEO.

August 2011: Paolo Di Canio's tunnel bust-up; Getafe's promotional video with lesbian zombies and sperm donations, Stan Kroenke and Arsene Wenger's Eminem hit, Victor Valdez beaten by a dolphin

July 2011: Rio Ferdinand targeted by Jack Bauer; Blackburn players star in Venky's chicken advert; Luis Suarez plays Fun House; Gary Neville's face on a carrot; Owen Hargreaves' fitness video

June 2011: Martin Jol dancing to the Macarena; Czech U21 star's horrible freak arm break; player sent off for having a pierced penis; highly suspicious Spanish relegation play-off draw

May 2011: The worst miss in history (no, really); Pique and Shakira shake their booties; Mick McCarthy gets soaked; Kevin-Prince Boateng's dance routine; PNE v Blackpool banner japes and the worst views in sport

April 2011: Berbatov's Godfather impression; Gerrard and Carragher 'Mr & Mr' special; Sergio Ramos drops the Copa del Rey; Marco Materazzi's Nike trainers tattoos; headless Man Utd sub; 'The Japanese Messi'

March 2011: Balotelli bib fail; table football made sexy; Michael Jackson statue at Craven Cottage; Jonjo Shelvey posts his tackle on Twitter; Ryan Giggs' first-ever TV interview; Cantona's best career moment

February 2011: Ashley Cole air-rifle farce; Carroll and Dalglish watch Boyzone; Gattuso v Jordan fall-out; Beckham rescues stranded motorist; fat Ronaldo had to wear nappies; Gray and Keys find a new job