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The Football Pulse

The Football Pulse unearths the best videos, stories, tweets and gossip - use the icons above to share with your mates and post your comments at the bottom of the article.

VIDEO (25/01): Premeditated free kick routines are often described as being 'straight off the training ground'. This one seems to have come 'straight out of the Muangthong United social media marketing department'.

VIDEO (23/01): Some good humour from Celtic boss Neil Lennon as a journalist's phone rings during a press conference and he answers it - twice.

VIDEO (21/01):
Highly amusing clip of Blackburn fans pelting members of the Venkys family with snowballs as they arrive chauffer driven at Ewood Park. One of them scores a direct hit.

VIDEO (21/01): A perfectly normal shouty, moronic, overly-opinionated caller on TalkSPORT's Call Collymore programme, until a highly awkward twist right at the end.

VIDEO (21/01): Who said Scottish football was dead? Here's a delicious bit of tekkers from Dundee United's Gary Mackay-Steven at the weekend.

VIDEO (21/01): It's fair to say Manchester United may not have seen the best of Paul Pogba, juding by this incredible goal he scored for Juventus at the weekend.

VIDEO (17/01): Enjoy this collection of owls that look like England coach Roy Hodgson. Doesn't need any further explanation.

VIDEO (16/01): Ajax playmaker and captain Siem de Jong has become No.1 on their January shopping list. Alan Pardew, however, might think again after watching this clip and a howler of a miss.

VIDEO (16/01): Everyone loves it when animals invade during sporting events don't they? Well, here's two dogs entering the fray during a Turkish football match between Galatasaray and Ahlen. Anyway, they get a pretty good reception for their efforts.

VIDEO (15/01): Two labrador puppies enjoy a walk in the park - or rather the middle of Galatasary's pitch as the cuddly canines interrupt a friendly in Turkey. Everybody say awww.

VIDEO (15/01): Rather than get chauffeured to the Emirates, Samir Nasri opted to walk but it wasn't the peaceful Sunday afternoon stroll he was hoping for as he gets abused by Gunners fans who haven't forgiven the Frenchman for moving to Man City. Marouane Chamakh, currently on loan at West Ham, acts as his former team-mate's bodyguard. Warning - contains bad language.

VIDEO (14/01): Nikita Korzun scores an outrageous goal for Belarus Under-18s. Shades of David Beckham against Wimbledon all those years ago.

VIDEO (14/01): Lionel Messi and Wayne Rooney feature in this nuggety little round-up of some of best goals scored in training by some of the world's top stars.

VIDEO (10/01): It's clear that Pep Guardiola's not a massive fan of Cristiano Ronaldo. Here he is refusing to shake his hands at the recent Ballon D'Or awards.

VIDEO (08/01): Is this the greatest team goal ever? Ignore the fact that it's scored by Greek youth team Ao Giannina for a moment and just lap up that tika taka!

VIDEO (08/01): Talking of great goals, here's Miroslav Stoch's strike for Fenerbahce that won Fifa's goal of the year, plus the other contenders that it beat.

VIDEO (07/01): It's goalless between Salalah and Sur in the Qaboos Cup in Oman, when a camereman lights up a forgettable occasion with a sublime piece of skill.

VIDEO (04/01): Scott Canham (wiki page here) better than Frank Lampard? That was the view of this West Ham fan back in 1996 at a fans' forum. It's fair to say a prophetic Harry Redknapp knew what he was talking about.

STORY (04/01): Meet Burton Albion goalkeeper Stuart Tomlinson, who moonlights as a nude and erotic model called, wait for it, Rupert Paddington Gomez. His Brewers team-mates must have a field day in that dressing room.

SONG (04/01): He's won the Champions League four times and with three different clubs, played for some of the biggest teams in Europe and impressed as a pundit for the BBC. Now the soulful Clarence Seedorf shows off his vocal range by nailing a rendition of Otis Redding's 'Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay'. Is there anything Clarence can't do?

VIDEO (03/01): You don't need to understand Japanese to know that he's some supremely wooden acting from Lionel Messi in, it has to be said, a fairly woeful advert for a facial wash.

VIDEO (02/01)
: Here's a Liverpool fan bravely allowing defender Martin Skrtel to become his first ever tattooing victim as part of a fundraiser.

VIDEO (18/12): If you're a fan of surrealism, this Christmas greeting from Real Madrid striker Karim Benzema might just be right up your street. Warning: song will stay in your head all day.

VIDEO (13/12): It's nice to see Brazilian football is behaving itself ahead of the World Cup next year. Judging by this Copa Sudamericana final, it's fair to say we'll be seeing an awful lot of action.

VIDEO (12/12): It's not often we give a little nod across the channel and salute the French sense of humour. We are, however, rather fond of this advert for Canal Plus' live football coverage.

VIDEO (12/12): Watch and drool. If you've got a spare 10 minutes, this compilation of Lionel Messi's 86 goals in all competitions in 2012 is pure football porn.

VIDEO (10/12): We're tired of using Tom Daley references to introduce a clip of a player diving, so here's Juventus defender Leonardo Bonucci giving Peter Waterfield a run for his money.

AUDIO (10/12): Talk about throwing a paddy. Manchester United legend Pat Crerand launches an extraordinary rant on the radio after not taking kindly to the suggestion that Rio Ferdinand provoked Manchester City fans before being struck with a coin during the fiery derby.

VIDEO (05/12): This Argentinian referee puts his impartially in rather grave doubt by congratulating Nicolas Barbero with a handshake after he scores with a cracking chip.

VIDEO (04/12): Aleksandr Kolarov reflects the current bonhomie in the Manchester City camp with a deliriously festive rendition of Jingle Bells. Maybe someone's just told him Santa doesn't exist?

VIDEO (04/12): Here's one of the less likely free-kick specialists - a tubby Bolivian goalkeeper with ill-fitting tracksuit bottoms.

VIDEO (03/12): Not feeling Christmasy yet? Well, then let Mario Balotelli be your guide as the Manchester City striker kicks off the club's advent calendar, complete with a Christmas cracker joke.

VIDEO (29/11):
We don't usually approve of two-footed challenges from behind but when it involves a policeman and a pitch invader everything's fair game.

VIDEO (29/11): And on the subject of pitch invaders, here's one brawling with the linesman in Trinidad during a secondary school cup final.

VIDEO (29/11): Enzo Zidane, son of Zinedine, proves he's got his old man's genes by scoring an absolute belter for Real Madrid's junior side. He didn't nut anyone, though.

VIDEO (26/11): Joey Barton has followed in Schteve McClaren's footsteps by giving an interview in English with a ridiculous French accent. He must have packed his 'Allo 'Allo box set when he joined Marseille on loan from QPR.

VIDEO (22/11): Crystal Palace's cheerleaders dress up in Santa outfits and mime through 'All I Want For Christmas Is You'.

PIC (21/11):
Chelsea physio Eva Carniero (you know, her) has got a wedgie as she treats Ashley Cole at West Brom. The cameraman definitely notices.

PIC (21/11): Well done to one particular betting firm for being very quick off the mark with this transparent publicity stunt.

PIC (20/11): QPR fans want Mark Hughes sacked, but mistaking a comma for an apostrophe rather dilutes the potency of their protest.

VIDEO (19/11): Fair to say Emmanuel Adebayor's return to the Emirates Stadium wasn't a success. As well as getting sent off, he received a luke-warm reception from former team-mate Bacary Sagna. The Frenchman totally blanked him in the tunnel, before giving another ex-Gunner, William Gallas, a warm embrace.

PIC (19/11): If you're not following @footballcliches on Twitter, you'd better sort yourself out pronto. Here's his hilarious 'Anatomy of a Footballer' diagram.

VIDEO (16/11): Zlatan who? Somewhere on a car park in Russia, there's a chap called Maxim Ivaschuk scoring one hell of a goal seemingly watched by Russian drunks with some quite superb music.

VIDEO (16/11): Clubs across Europe are clamouring for the services of Brazilian Neymar. We're not entirely convinced it's because of his penalty taking, which still leaves a little to be desired.

VIDEO (15/11):
As part of the pre-match entertainment at a match in Ecuador, a sky diver misjudges his descent and lands on a player who's innocently warming up. He and his team-mates don't react particularly jovially.

AUDIO (15/11): "Erm, it's a goal Michael!" Michael Hortin of BBC Radio Lincolnshire fails to spot there's been a goal during Lincoln's FA Cup giant-killing against League One Walsall.

VIDEO (14/11): Unhappy with his players' tackling attempts, this crafty Italian coach tries to trip a winger on the touchline and is punished - by being forced to stand behind a door in a fence.

VIDEO (12/11): Here's Chelsea defender David Luiz breaking down in tears as a ten-pin bowling TV prank is played on him. Bless.

VIDEO (08/11):
Footballers... just look at them. Mucking about in their recording studios, playing guitars and goofing around. They're not spoilt, overpaid brats after all. They're just like us! Oh, hang on. Ronaldo's ruined all Nike's slick PR work after 1min 5secs by trying to sing.

VIDEO (07/11): We love this. Finnish goalkeeper Lassi Hurskainen shows off a dazzling array of tricks, most of which leave his rotund mate lying in an agonised heap. Knocking the can of pop out of his hand while in his fishing boat is a particular favourite.

VIDEO (06/11): A US women's college player demonstrates her headhunting skills as she nails her opponent on the noggin with a throw-in....twice. Military precision.

VIDEO (05/11): They say goalkeepers are bonkers and Serhiy Pohorilyi from Ukraine seems to be a prime example. He unfurls a cracker of a left hook on opposition striker Artem Gromov and is sent off, obviously, but more startling is Gromov's reaction. Despite hefty contact on the chin, he barely flinches. Jaw of steel.

VIDEO (02/11): Argentinian goalkeeper Gaston Sessa loses his cool as he blasts the ball into a ball boy's face and is deservedly shown a red card. But watch how long it takes the whippersnapper to go down. Talk about a delayed reaction.

PIC (01/11): Robbie Keane might be less than thrilled with the caption on this picture taken at the LA Lakers v Dallas Mavericks NBA gameon Tuesday night.

VIDEO (31/10): Prepare for some serious weirdness in this clip. Cristiano Ronaldo goes on Italy's version of the Jeremy Kyle show to act as therapist in a bust-up between a mother and her daughter. Erm, what the...?

VIDEO (31/10): Mario Balotelli may often appear as if he can barely be bothered to break wind, but he does put the occasional bit of effort in training. Check out this fantastic scorpion kick.

VIDEO (25/10): We've all got treasured childhood memories of playing football with our dad in the garden. This kid will have those memories too. Very painful memories (we're loving mum's wellies).

VIDEO (24/10): Here's how to save a penalty. Cue a match in Bolivia and a player attempting a spot kick unsuccessfully three times, each time being denied by an acrobatic goalkeeper.

VIDEO (22/10): The moments before kick-off are usually spent in a pent-up froth of excitement and nerves. Not for this Getafe fan, who kicks his legs out and tokes on a stupendously massive cigar.

VIDEO (18/10): This is hardly ladylike behaviour as a teenage girl is caught on camera violently kneeing an opponent in the head during a high school match in Utah. Amazingly, the victim sits straight back up despite the brutal assault. Can you imagine Luis Suarez's reaction?

VIDEO (18/10): Here's more bad behaviour - from a linesman. We have no idea what's rattled his cage but he suddenly sprints on the pitch as a free-kick is about to be taken and drops one of the players with a right hook.

VIDEO (17/10): On a truly bizarre night of international football, Serbian fans and players brought disgrace upon their nation after their U21s defeat to England. Here's some fan footage.

VIDEO (16/10): If you haven't yet heard of Hachim Mastour, you will have pretty soon. He's already cost Milan 500,000 from Reggiana and this staggering highlights package from his debut for the Under-15s shows why. Watch out for a breath-taking goal after 33secs.

VIDEO (15/10): Considering all the work, that went into an advert for a Thai brand of Cola featuring Joe Hart, the end product is more than a little underwhelming.

VIDEO (15/10): Another advert, this time featuring Manchester United's Shinji Kagawa doing a bit of keepy-uppy and some beatboxing.

VIDEO (12/10): This is quite creepy. It's a song about Chelsea physio, Eva Carneiro. That's fine. But taking a lifesize cardboard cut-out of the pretty doc to bed and licking 'her' face probably means it's time to find a real girlfriend.

VIDEO (11/10): Remember the bikini-clad Crystal Palace cheerleaders who lip-synced to Call Me Maybe? Silly question. Well they're back in their skimpy outfits as they join the Gangnam Style craze. Heyyy sexy lady!

VIDEO (10/10): Zlatan Ibrahimovic may have his doubters, but he's capable of brilliance on occasion - like this kung-fu goal.

VIDEO (09/10):
Barely a week goes by without a footballer being banned for speeding or drink-driving, but Belgian player Jonathan Legear (a good name for a driving misdemeanour) went one better by crashing his Porsche through a shop at a petrol station forecourt.

VIDEO (04/10): Even as an 11 -year-old, Emile Heskey's athleticism, good humour and extrovert streak shone through. Well, his athleticism did, anyway. Check out this classic footage of him mistakenly being called "Emily" on the Rod Hull and Emu Show in 1989.

VIDEO (03/10): Leicester winger Anthony Knockaert floored Huddersfield with two KO strikes last night - a 35-yard bullet followed by an ingenious backheel volley.

VIDEO (03/10): If you hide behind a cushion while watching Casualty then best to avoid this clip of Carles Puyol's nasty elbow injury. Not for the squeamish.

VIDEO (02/10): Jimmy Bullard's stellar career came to an end yesterday. He's seen it all, from the muck 'n' boots of non-league to the bright lights of the Premier League. This though, must go down as his career highlight.

VIDEO (27/09): John Bond sadly passed away yesterday. Here is the day he met his Manchester City players for the first time. Forward to 3mins 50secs. It's fair to say managers would have to approach things a little differently nowadays.

VIDEO (26/09): In the Brazilian lower leagues, Ponta Pora are winning 1-0 at Coxim, but in injury time a home striker snakes his way into the box in search of an equaliser. The away team's physio, standing behind the goal after treating an injured player, and still carrying two heavy equipment bags, doesn't like the look of this attack and intervenes, causing mayhem in the process.

STORY (26/09): Croatia international Domagoj Vida received a fine of almost 80,000 from his club Dinamo Zagreb. His crime? On the team bus heading to a cup match against NK Vrsar his manager Ante Cacic heard a suspicious noise behind him. It was the 23-year-old defender opening a can of beer.

VIDEO (25/09): Could this be the quickest goal ever scored? It seems unlikely there's ever been a faster one. Teekaboo, Vuk Bakic of Belgrade youth side GSP Polet.

VIDEO (25/09): If you've not yet seen this from Ligue Un at the weekend, prepare for a cracker. Toulouse 'keeer Ahamada Ali abandons his own goal deep into injury time against Rennes. You can guess what happened next, but the way he does it is rather extraordinary.

VIDEO (24/09): Jonjo Shelvey's two-footed lunge on Jonny Evans wasn't the prettiest of tackles at Anfield yesterday, but it's certainly a lot softer than this horror challenge in Saudi Arabia. We take it Yaseen Nogri has never heard of the phrase 'stay on your feet'.

VIDEO (24/09): A referee with a sense of humour? Fair play to Lee Probert who makes light of being sandwiched at the DW Stadium. He does milk it a bit, though.

VIDEO (21/09): Scoring a volley from a corner with your back to goal is difficult to do on two legs. What about if you only have one and play on crutches? Surely not...

VIDEO (21/09): Bottles, celery and a pig's head have all been tossed onto the field during a game. But a grenade is taking it a bit too far. Sepahan's 40-year-old midfielder Adel Kolahkaj was lucky not to lose his hand.

VIDEO (20/09): Everyone knows if you celebrate a goal by taking off your top you're going to get booked. What Pablo Cesar Cabral didn't bank on is having his sweaty shirt swiped by this cheeky kid who then legs it back to the stand and tosses it to his mate.

PIC (20/09): Zlatan Ibrahimovic gets a little too excited after scoring for PSG against Dynamo Kiev in the Champions League.

VIDEO (20/09): Real Madrid aren't renowned for parking the bus but that's exactly what happened before they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat against Manchester City. Quite ironic considering it was Mourinho who is thought to have coined the football phrase during his time at Chelsea. We don't think they'll have to offload Ronaldo to pay the fine.

VIDEO (20/09): Watch how this Iranian player goes close. No, not to scoring but to getting his hand blown off by a grenade that is thrown on the pitch. Lucky boy.

VIDEO (18/09): Try doing this down the park and not falling flat on your face. Finnish striker Pekka Sihvola pings a rabona penalty into the top bins - while blindfolded.

VIDEO (17/09): Thierry Henry shows he's still got it by scoring directly from a corner for the New York Red Bulls against Columbus Crew. Always have a man on the back post!

PIC (13/09): The new Fifa demo always seem to throw out crazy glitches. We think Olivier Giroud kissing Mario Gotze during a match is one, or it could be a new man marking feature.

VIDEO (12/09): Whatever you do, don't ever suggest to Norway keeper Rune Jarstein that he was at fault for a goal. Or else this happens.

VIDEO (10/09): Goalkeeper Jakob Kohler, who plays for Frem in the Danish Second Division East, goes up for a late corner against Skjold Birkerod. You can guess what happens next, but the quality of the goal, and celebrations, are exemplary.

VIDEO (05/09): If this weird tribute to Alan Pardew doesn't have him sleeping with one eye open and putting volts into the front gate of his home, then we don't know what will.

PIC (03/09): Shocking pic! Arsene Wenger was so pleased with Arsenal's victory at Liverpool he got his willy out in the technical area! (Legal note: he didn't really, but it looks very funny).

VIDEO (03/09):When Dominique Niederhauser, goalkeeper for Swiss amateur club Dardania Lausanne, rushed out of his area against Genolier-Begnins, little did he realise it would soon shoot him to worldwide viral fame. See what happened next.

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FOOTBALL PULSE ARCHIVE

August 2012: Referee's killer through ball, AIK fans set off fireworks at Spartak Moscow players' hotel, hack rob Beasley's demented rant on TALKsport, Everton fans riot at Hibbert goal.

July 2012: Becks ruins family's Olympic photo, Cesc Fabregas' pool-side antics on holiday, Wenger 'chats' to Piers Morgan and Santiago Canizare' naked wife.

June 2012: Buffon has a strop, Podolski sings dodgy Eurotrash song, Ireland welcomes England to Euro 2012, Kilbane's Ice Ice Baby rap, great Euro moments in Lego.

May 2012: Andy Carroll playing the 'yes/no game', Nani's beatboxing, player pulls down linesman's shorts, Liam Gallacher invades City press conference and the most ridiculous red card ever!

April 2012: 'That' Geoff Shreeves interview with Branislav Ivanovic, own goal from the halfway line, Crawley's players do the twist, Sulley Muntari snubbed by ballboy, referee attacked in South America.

March 2012: Vinnie Jones as a wrestler, Crawley v Bradford 'handbags', Phil Jones gurning song, Drogba's sneaky peek, Lech Poznan nutter fans, Balotelli in more trouble.

February 2012: Goalkeeper's incredible wind-assisted o.g, Iceland stars flick-flack throw-ins, 'Worst Miss Ever' exhibit 385, Aaron Ramsey celeb assassin, Chris Kamara japes.

January 2012: Vinnie Jones viral ad, pitch invader kisses John Terry, Swansea's revealing fan, Nakamura bus window antics, stonking 70-yard free-kick, Keown smacked by ball.

December 2011: Ireland's Shisha shame, electrocuted ex-Prem stars, Channel Five Europa League sing-a-long, Rooney's Christmas charades and Pepe baking biscuits.

November 2011: Outrage in Iran at 'shameless' goal celebration, Mancini bangs his noggin, Yeovil Town wedding song classic, Polish Youth Cup penalty fail, Nasri's pants.

October 2011: A new contender for the longest headed goal ever, Man City academy stunner, keeper refuses to save penalty, Keys and Gray's fall from grace, Petr Cech does drumming.

September 2011: Walter Pandiani's personal hygiene 'issue', the worst tackle ever, the longest-range header ever, a linesman faking injury and Mansfield Town's luscious new CEO.

August 2011: Paolo Di Canio's tunnel bust-up; Getafe's promotional video with lesbian zombies and sperm donations, Stan Kroenke and Arsene Wenger's Eminem hit, Victor Valdez beaten by a dolphin

July 2011: Rio Ferdinand targeted by Jack Bauer; Blackburn players star in Venky's chicken advert; Luis Suarez plays Fun House; Gary Neville's face on a carrot; Owen Hargreaves' fitness video

June 2011: Martin Jol dancing to the Macarena; Czech U21 star's horrible freak arm break; player sent off for having a pierced penis; highly suspicious Spanish relegation play-off draw

May 2011: The worst miss in history (no, really); Pique and Shakira shake their booties; Mick McCarthy gets soaked; Kevin-Prince Boateng's dance routine; PNE v Blackpool banner japes and the worst views in sport

April 2011: Berbatov's Godfather impression; Gerrard and Carragher 'Mr & Mr' special; Sergio Ramos drops the Copa del Rey; Marco Materazzi's Nike trainers tattoos; headless Man Utd sub; 'The Japanese Messi'

March 2011: Balotelli bib fail; table football made sexy; Michael Jackson statue at Craven Cottage; Jonjo Shelvey posts his tackle on Twitter; Ryan Giggs' first-ever TV interview; Cantona's best career moment

February 2011: Ashley Cole air-rifle farce; Carroll and Dalglish watch Boyzone; Gattuso v Jordan fall-out; Beckham rescues stranded motorist; fat Ronaldo had to wear nappies; Gray and Keys find a new job